Chino Charmer Pillows

Are you looking at my red trousers?

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'By golly, I think we've got ourselves a prodigy!'

Online Dating

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

You're the olive in my martini

"Check out this new store."

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

"Ding" "Dong"

Jerk Gene

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"Pie chart"

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

Too posh for Alderley Edge!

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'

Fat Man Viewing Pie Chart Thinks About Real Pie

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

Houdini re-incarnated.

'That's all right, dear -- I'll just pick something up on the way to work.'

Chicken singing romantic songs

"Remember... the cork. You're supposed to smell the cork!"

"C major 7, F major 7. . . and that's been the story of my life."

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

"I think I'll report us to the Better Business Bureau."

'Are you blind, Ref, it's a fowl!'

Spot's favorite game is "hard to pet".

Guitars

"Odd - you have bad cholesterol, good cholesterol, and some cholesterol that wonders why everyone can't just get along."

Prince longed for the good old days when dogs were dogs.

"Stay sharp, wait for my signal and do not, no matter how tempting, pet that cat on the stomach!"