Chinese Food Fanatics Gifts

'Whatever you do, get across that road ... and bring me back some Chinese.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

This Year's Spa

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'My fortune says 'you can't be too thin, or too rich, or have too much computer memory'.'

Repletion.

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Chinese Novel Cookie

Waiting staff

All You Can Eat

Deli Special - 2 bean salad: 'We ran out of red beans.'

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

The day the dinosaurs died...'There's no fortunes in any of these!'

Omelette aux grosses herbes

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

Misfortune cookies

Panda leaving chinese take-away with bamboo.

'You are about to get a terrible paper cut!'

"My wife will have the number 2. I'll have the number five. And the kids will split an order of the number nine." "2 + 5 + 4 1/2 + 4 1/2 = 16"

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.

"This to you left me says you want a wok."

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

'One moment gentlemen - do you have a reservation?'