Chinese Cuisine Enthusiast Gifts

"Relax, the real cookies await you at home."

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

"This to you left me says you want a wok."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.

"You and your daft inventions."

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

Saying Grace.

"I will have the riesling, and a thimble of your best pinot noir for the little lady."

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.