Chindogu Collector Pillows

'Go ahead you can use that.'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"He's an abstract artist."

Art Gallery.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Posh Easter Egg

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"I read 'Art News.'"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

Fridge Magnets/Military Medals

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"