Tribal Art Collector Pillows

"Well Doctor, I thought if a placebo works, this might as well..."

'I thought your mother might like it.'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"He's an abstract artist."

Art Gallery.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"I read 'Art News.'"

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

'I'm very proud of my El Gecko.'

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

Monet in the '90s.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

"'3' is genius. We need to buy '3'."