Chimp Champ Pillows

Monkey casino study.

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

"It says here that study claims chimps and humans are 96% the same. What's your thoughts Derek?"

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

"Remember son, evolution peaks with us - chimps were in space before man!"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"Leftover seeds."

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

He's a terrible climber, but he's pretty good with tools.

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

"What setting do I use for this?"

"Careful...she bites."

'In the old days we used charcoal. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'

Chimp, proficient in primate speech, outsmarts a lie detector.

Sport Darwinism

"Love them rays, Chief."

"No-one's noticed the difference yet. . !"

Sign on the door at Karate School.

Celebrating the Chinese New Year of the Monkey

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

Little known evolutionary steps.

'You're right - he's trying to communicate.'

"We must work hard to preserve the natural habitat of all Earth's creatures."

"Remember? Pretend I'm not here!"

'We brought him here to be C...A...S...T...R...A...'

"Wow, human DNA is so close to ours! Pity they're just missing perfection by a few percentage points..."

Mom's right. We both look and act like chimps.

'...There's something about rescued dogs - they're just eager to please.'

"Family game night rocks! Especially when the winner decides what his prize is!"