Chomp Champ Pillows

"Careful...she bites."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

Schrodinger's kittens

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

Monkey casino study.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

Stock Wanted

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

"Leftover seeds."

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

"What setting do I use for this?"

'In the old days we used charcoal. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'

Amateur singers

"Love them rays, Chief."

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

Little known evolutionary steps.

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

"I think what I love most about you are your causes."

Sign on the door at Karate School.

Ant Farm Concert

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

'Christmas Splash Charity: Fancy Dress Swim.'

"On the day after Christmas, lots of families celebrate Boxing Day... They box up things they don't need anymore and give them to charity."