Chum Champ Pillows

Reverse psychology.

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Are we having fun yet?'

Schrodinger's kittens

Monkey casino study.

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

Amateur singers

"Careful...she bites."

"Love them rays, Chief."

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

Sign on the door at Karate School.

"I think what I love most about you are your causes."

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

Little known evolutionary steps.

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

'Christmas Splash Charity: Fancy Dress Swim.'

Ant Farm Concert

"On the day after Christmas, lots of families celebrate Boxing Day... They box up things they don't need anymore and give them to charity."

"There's a man at the door collecting for Jesus...."

'Idle gossip, nothing! I've worked hard on it!'

Black belt in gossiping.

"You gave at the office, but you work from home?"