Chillax Champ Pillows

'I can't understand it. He left for school two hours ago.'

On holiday.

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Working Holiday

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

'Are we having fun yet?'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

Schrodinger's kittens

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

Monkey casino study.

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

Stock Wanted

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

"What setting do I use for this?"

"Love them rays, Chief."

"Careful...she bites."

A man carves a totem pole

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'

"I think what I love most about you are your causes."

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

'Christmas Splash Charity: Fancy Dress Swim.'

Ant Farm Concert

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

Sign on the door at Karate School.

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'

Little known evolutionary steps.

"On the day after Christmas, lots of families celebrate Boxing Day... They box up things they don't need anymore and give them to charity."