Crustacean Champ Pillows

'I can't wait for the 2012 'Limpets' to begin...!'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Just Stop Boil

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Show off."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"I can hear the sea boiling."

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

'Are we having fun yet?'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

Schrodinger's kittens

'Bloody Hell!...What is a hosepipe ban?'

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

Monkey casino study.

The world at stake...

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

Stock Wanted

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

"When I finally got my own car, I never drove over the speed limit."

"What setting do I use for this?"

A man carves a totem pole

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

'In the old days we used charcoal. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'

"Careful...she bites."

"So, how about all this global warming business, eh?"

"It's not you, Gavin. . . it's just that I could never love anyone who still used plastic bags."

Sculptor: 'Okay, SMILE!'

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

'Christmas Splash Charity: Fancy Dress Swim.'