Chili Aficionado T-Shirts

'Roger has his heart set on Texas, for the chili cook - off season!'

Chilly peppers.

Chilli

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

La Table

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'Believe me, you don't want to know what's in it.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Choice hellhole

'How was the squid?'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Linguini for two?"

Seasonal workers in the restaurant trade: 'Salt...pepper'.

'listen - it's haute cuisine, coming up the river from New Orleans.'

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

"At ease!"

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"Is the slop fresh?"

"My compliments to Mummy!"

'You can have inner peace or you can have chili with beans, but you can't have both.'

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."