Chili Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I feel a draft."

"Hey, you're not a firefly!"

"Hey, don't blame me...you were the one who said, 'Have a beer, honey, while I get the chili ready!!'"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Selling lemon latt�

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"At this office no two days are different."

'These are job perks.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Allegro con molto espresso

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I come here for the pepper."

The Main Types of Cheese

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Who gets the decaf?'

Espresso Martini Peacock

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'