Children's Rhymes Gifts

'Tech support...I'd like to report a farmer in the dell!'

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

Old MacDonald's farm. Checking E-I-E-I-O mail.

'This little piggie ate a vegan salad, this little piggie revolted against the bigoted, facist, inhumane, carnivorous power structure...'

'I'm a little tea pot...' 'Act your age.'

'Next time your lamb follows you to school Mary, you're going to Juvie.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

Man listening to seashell: 'Oh, Rub-ber Ducky, you're the one ...'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."