Children's Rhyme Enthusiast Gifts

'I understand why the baker and the candlestick maker are here, but what's the deal with the butcher?'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Well, that one got away."

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

If you're happy and you know it...

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'