Children's Ministry Gifts

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

I like the Jets...I guess

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Wildlife

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Santa Claus's Mail

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"And this is our media room."

"Look, a bug!"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

SALE

"That'll be five bucks."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"Mom probably wouldn't buy us one, but you have to learn to make your own choices, Dad."