Children's Book Fan Gifts

"Let's face it - this was never going to work. You're a beloved children's book character, and I'm a lesbian."

The Given Tree

“God, no! It’s ripping me apart!!” “The very very hungry caterpillar”

"I'm in children's books, myself."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"I didn't see you."

'I had to put the peas in my ears... they kept falling out my nose!'

The big bad wolf!

Green Bottles Sought for Wall Experiment.

"As Piglet said, Honey Sales are down. But sales of Empty Honey Jars That Hold Popped Balloons are way up."

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Pastries and Candy

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

The unforgiving tree

Baby's book is titled: 'Dummies for Dummies.'

Roald Dahl gets a book idea

"What I really want to do is chew up children’s books."

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Creatures from Jabberwocky.

Pied Piper uses 'Rat Nav'.

'Charlotte's web-cam'

"Before I begin, I should issue a Tigger warning."

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"Any other refrences besides the Three Bears?"

"When the evil witch pushes the children into the oven, .... that's just a metaphor for putting them in the microwave"

'I like the way you have Jack and Jill go up the hill with a lawyer.'

The Little Engine That Could pulls into the subway station.

"Where's Waldo and his little-know cousin what's Wanda."

"Once upon a time there were these three little pigs. There was a neurotic little pig, a psychotic little pig, and a normal little pig . . . ."

"Dad! Color inside the lines!"

'It's just more pro-parent spin.'

Little Miss Muffet Does Lunch