Childhood Tactician Gifts

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

I rule by fear.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

'Do you realize that I spend more time out than I do in?'

'...always surround yourself with incompetent people.'

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

"Are you sending your people over here to smoke in my doorway?"

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

'The only imaginable solution to this problem is a battle to the death.'

'Remember his weakness is a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips.'

"This tantrum has been powerful, honest and riveting, and I think we should just give him what he wants."

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

'Let's take turns saying what we like about each other...and fake it if you have to.'

"I don't even like toys. I just do this so people won't talk to me."

'Sorry JD, there's been a takeover bid.'

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

"...and the business will carrion as usual!"

'I'd call it a conversion.'

'It's a special technique called cheating.'

'Max, the rubber band gun is an outside toy...and you can't shoot it at people.'