Childhood Charmers Pillows

"Don't worry—it's just a phase."

'Hey, Thunder Thighs, Bean Pole's here!'

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

"'A', I'm adorable."

'When a doctor looks in your ear with that pointy thing- what's he looking for...?'

My corn is undercooked. It hasn't even popped!

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"So like, it's so cool to finally meet you in person."

Samurai offspring.

"There's definitely enough growing room."

"Don't you just love them when they're that age?"

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

'He's a born politician.'

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

An Irishman unfamiliar with how a telephone works

"...and wagging your tail isn't going to get you off the hook."

"Look at the silly grin on his face -- I bet his imaginary playmate is a girl!"

'Ohhh....I love your accent!'

'Little Tommy is so romantic - He's letting me mind his tadpoles.'

Sex and the Old City

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

"Reading, writing, AND arithmetic - I'm too YOUNG to multitask!"

'The dog and cat followed me home, the bird flew in the window and the fish swam up the toilet. Obviously I have animal magnetism.'

'Okay, so I'll ask someone else to marry me!'

STRIP Racing children upset by starter gun

"I put Nanny and Grandad's false teeth under my pillow."

"Hot enough for you?"

Once again her smile had failed to light up the room.