Child Starting Daycare Gifts

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

In the Guru District

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

The Baby Walker

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"The first one's just a warning."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."