Child's Reading Milestone Gifts

"Jeremy reads children's books."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

One!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

Dominant hand reveal party

Eagle parenting.

Sparkler

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."