Child's Reading Milestone Gifts

"Jeremy reads children's books."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'At lone at last.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

Sparkler

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Eagle parenting.

Dominant hand reveal party

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'