Child's First Tooth Pillows

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"They look so young and helpless."

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

Little chef.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

Extra innings.

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

Tooth fairy pays with card

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'That never gets old.'

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

Constructing your own prison!

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

'You wash and I'll dry.'

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

'I get that reaction a lot.'

'Imagine that in gummi!'