Child's First Tooth Pillows

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

"They look so young and helpless."

Little chef.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

Tooth fairy pays with card

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

'That never gets old.'

"You give the tooth fairy your teeth, and she gives you some money. It's called reverse mortgage."

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

Constructing your own prison!

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

'You wash and I'll dry.'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Quiet Time