Child Nutrition Adviser Gifts

'Actually, I kind of like peas, but if I eat them, what will mom think of next?'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Bad for you but to die for

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

No bottle feeding.

Shrink

Adam and Eve - Food scares

Eskimo to one with huge whale: 'You're sure it's all good cholesterol?'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

'Sure hope this doesn't give me heartburn. . .'

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

'Turkey's okay, but most of the trimmings are vegetables.'

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

'92 elements in the Universe and you always have to chuck the compound NaCl all over your dinner!'

'You should give her a bigger breakfast - She's just eaten my thermometer!'

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

Life in a food desert.