Child Nutrition Gifts

It's 12 noon, do you know what kind of junk food your kid is being served at school lunch?

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

But is it organic?

Raw food, after you leave for work.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'