Child Accountant Gifts

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

J W D Butterworth chief accountant - Pin-stripes made of numbers

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Hmmm....not bad. What about liquid assets?"

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'Children are all right, Carson, except they're so damned unprofitable.'

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

Accountancy - 'plein air'

"I wonder what our clients are doing out there."

Right brain accounting.

“I can’t disagree, your methods are very creative. But… have you any practical accounting experience?”

"Are we going to start working with larger numbers? I want to work as a federal budget director."

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

Two kids are selling iced tea from roadside stands; one is selling regular iced tea for 50¢ a cup, while the other is selling Long Island ice teas for $5.00 a cup.

'We don't need our own stand. Just have your mom buy all the lemons at the store so we've cornered the market and can name our price!'

"Very impressive. I see you majored in accounting and minored in creative writing."

"My school day was mixed. Big gains in history class, English was flat, math declined by a quarter-grade, and I took a pounding at recess."

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

"Can't talk right now - we're in the middle of a fiction-writing workshop."

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

Broker's Report

'Now that we've merged, I'm laying you off.'

'We've got got 13 line managers and 35 account executives.'

'Promise me, if we don't land this account, you'll burn your lucky suit.'

'It's your mother -- are you here?'