Chihuahuas Pillows

'Well, I might not be able to fetch the newspaper for her, but she carries me around everywhere in her purse...'

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Showbiz Awards

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Omara Portuondo

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

A Fairytale Update

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

Piracy on a boating lake

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

Before the Internet

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"