Chief Of Staff Gifts

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

"I detect the fine hand of James Baker behind that."

Help Wanted: Chief of Staff

President Josh

Chief of Staff A North American Indian working away in an office.

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

Say What! Mark Meadows

"A 'peace-keeping force'? What fun is that?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Multi-tasking.

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'These are job perks.'

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'I give this one about three months...'

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Busy office.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.