Chief Of Procrastination Pillows

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'I hate Mondays.'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

Bob’s Museum

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Procrastinators Incorporated

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

"What does procrastination mean?"