Chief Breadwinner Gifts

'I'd fire him if he didn't have such a large family to support.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

I bake my own bread.

"Best idea I ever had, those murals."

Agreeable Noises

A politician's dream come true...

Sun Worship

"It's not that you're too old for a thong, dear. It's just you've got it on backwards."

A gap between the solar panels

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"I need the sun's energy to warm my blood and give me energy. You could almost say I'm solar-powered..."

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

...where bikini lines and wrinkles meet

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

"Why, this is fit for me!"

J W D Butterworth chief accountant - Pin-stripes made of numbers

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

"Being an everything bagel, doesn’t mean you are expected to do everything."

At the CEO Store: 'Third Floor: Loopholes, Scapegoats, Acccounting Irregularities.'

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

The sun luring people to the sea

"You haven't left much room for sun tan lotion"

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

'Please don't cover me with hot sand, Dear. It makes my skin so oily.'

'Remember - when Daylight Saving Time ends, we have to give everything a slight turn to the left.'

Summer Tip #26: Never use your chest as a beer can holder while sun tanning.

'Boy it's hot today!'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''