Future Breadwinner Gifts

'Son, you've been a good tax deduction, but now you must join your kind in the work force and prop up my social security.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"So much for password protected."

Education and Apprenticeships

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Niche Extracurriculars

'I told you to not get Danny that Junior Carpenter set.'

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

Cow Pilot.

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

Biotechnology in agriculture

'But Marvin, you can't be a college graduate for a living!'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

Nest Egg