Chicken Coordinator Gifts

'Oi! There's a pecking order around here, you know.'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

'This race is simply too close to call.'

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

Seminal moments in Chicken History

A bit of Newlyn.

'It's a kit I found online. I converted the car so it runs entirely on chicken manure.'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

"Babies come from WHERE?!"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

Planes drop vaccines over a city

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

Free Range Chickens

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"With Tia Carmen's chickens, we'll get twice as much candy!"

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

Airplane dropping vaccines.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

A hen pushes a egg carton on wheels containing her chicks.

Chicken: the one-man show

"A road yet uncrossed, My heart takes wing at the sight - The journey is life."