Chic Seeker Pillows

"That's right Madam. Apparently, there was a mix up at the factory and all size 10 clothing was incorrectly labelled size 16."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

The latest look.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Overjumpers

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Ice fisher.

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"I don't like your application."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Mister Pretty Shoes

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Do you do much walking?"

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Elegant woman in backless dress.

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."