Chemical Safety Gifts

'You didn't breathe on your way up here did you?'

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Honest Vending

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

On the brink.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Kitchen Kapers

Baby on board.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."