Chemical Alchemist Gifts

'The man at the wine shop said this wine was made without any harmful chemicals, so I added them myself.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Interdisciplinary studies.

The Style of Elements

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Scientists are sexy

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Sexual chemistry set

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'