Alchemists Gifts

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

Interdisciplinary studies.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'Here you are, Simmons!'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

The Brief collaboration Alfred Nobel And Thomas Edison

"Your farm's doing well John. What's your secret?"

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"Well, we got the grant."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'The Algenist meets the Alchemist.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

Make your own bottled water.

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

Alcohol Ingredients

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

"Garbage in, great books out."

'Dang.'

Pasteur and those who came before him and failed.

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

'It's both physical and chemical. She works in a lab.'

"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"