Arithmetical Alchemist Gifts

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'My name is Jeremy and I approved this message.'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'It's an experiment to stop time.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

"The physicists doubt it, the chemists want to change it, the psychologists are trying to interpret it and the biologists don't care."

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'I think that's enough brain defragging for today.'

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

Alcohol Ingredients

"Garbage in, great books out."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

'It's not an accounting breakthrough, Sam. It's wrong.'

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

"Since I've been using this organic stuff my potions are far more effective."

"After all these years, I'm sure of only one thing: when I heat the liquid, it boils."

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"