Chemical Alchemist T-Shirts

'The man at the wine shop said this wine was made without any harmful chemicals, so I added them myself.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Interdisciplinary studies.

The Style of Elements

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Scientists are sexy

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Sexual chemistry set

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'