Chemists T-Shirts

'That's a puffer. If you want to blow a house down, you'll also need a huffer.'

"What do you recommend for greenhouse gas?"

The Brief collaboration Alfred Nobel And Thomas Edison

Make your own bottled water.

'Our hormones are on back order. Until they come in, we're lending Brad Pitt videos.'

Interdisciplinary studies.

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"Wouldn't it be easier to get one of those pregnancy testing kits from the chemiost, Julie?"

To help enforce the new medical privacy laws, the pharmacists have been equipped with Tasers.

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

"Well, we got the grant."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

He did not always fit in well with the group think of the other scientists.

"Well sir, Sue here from the lab figures if we take a metal flask like this and vacuum it empty we can market the contents as a completely chemical free food additive!"

Pasteur and those who came before him and failed.

Lab safety rule no. 1...Do not drink substances to determine if they are poisonous.

'Risk assessor' in laboratory

Poisoning

"The difference? This one has ingredients you can pronounce and this one doesn't."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

The Style of Elements

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!