Cheeky Letter Writer Gifts

Dear Santa- Thanks for the awesome gift! p.s. did you know cellphones have built-in calculators? p.p.s. you suck.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'I don't think my homework is very good. My dog refused to eat it.'

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

Sticking out tongue

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

"I don't know the letter carrier's name, but I can't help thinking of him as 'Bill'."

Reading the love-letter

Boy about to poke a man from behid with a stick after having seen a pantomime

'He's a man of few words. Words to the editor not included.'

"Your dump or mine..?"

Library - Cats for Dummies.

Footballer scores for the first time and wears T-Shirt reading: 'No longer a virgin.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

'Big Issue!'

Having noticed a hot-looking security woman, Mort quickly penned a note and stuck it in his briefcase.

"I've torn up the questionnaire but am using the lovely pen you sent me"

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'Dear sir, yours is not the only company with staff problems..As you can see by all the typing errors..'

'Look what I found, Dad - Can I keep her?'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Book ratings.

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"