Cheeky Jokester Pillows

"Hey you. I can't get in your house because nobody drew a fireplace or chimney. Not my fault, dude. Well, maybe next year. Ho, ho, ho."

'I have weapons of mass distraction.'

'Don't worry if you can't find your glasses.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"We've invented a new word!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Elephant ass selfie.

Pyramid (Drawn from memory) (Pretty accurate)

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Men dancing

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Barbecue: Touch the Chef Inappropriately!

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

'Hello? Animal control?'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."