Checkout Charmer Gifts

Bank Checking Accounts. Yes, deposits are guaranteed, sir --- but withdrawals aren't.

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Only One Item or Fewer.

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Thong World.

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

Tescos: 'Oh no! There's no chocolate at the checkout!'

'You're the first person to ask for a shopping hour in addition to a lunch hour.'

Official Support Groups

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

Snake Charmer

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

10 items or less

'I adore a man of many parts.'

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

Elderly couple bearing a sign: '...We take ages.'

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

Hell for cashiers.

'Which eight do you want?'

"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."

12 items or less. 12 items or else.

I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper. What's that? It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves. I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything. They say if you love your work, you never work a day in your life. HOJ. To each his own, I guess. I love everything about shopping. From the seductive open sign, to the supple checkout lines.

10 Items or Less or Else.

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

'I'm going to have to scan, it could take a while.'