Checkbox Philosopher Gifts

"I always just check the box without reading that stuff."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

How to create a password you can remember...

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

Democracy - one of the drawbacks.

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

"Try staying in the same dimension as everyone else."

Rumors of war...rumors of peace.

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

'I've got an epistle to the Corinthians, ten shekels postage due.'

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

"The deal with the marionette company is nearly complete, although there are still some strings attached."

'People are divided into two classes...those in the swim and those in the soup.'

'Another 'undecided'.'

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

My Obituary

Exciting news. I've retired our small size coffee. I've replaced it with the big. What if people want jut a little bit to drink? They should order the big. Isn't it bigger? It's the same size as the old small. Just like the old medium. It's the same as before, but it now called the grandeur. And in place of the old large, I give you the skyscraper. Modern cafe theory: Same size drinks but larger names. Our prices must rise to reflect our generosity.

"It's asking for your password."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Roundabout/Don't Know How To Use Roundabout

Halo/Devil

"You've been waiting to get on all morning? Let me guess... You figured out how to set the automatic backups... But you've yet to figure out why there's an 'AM' and a 'PM' selection?"