Checkbox Philosopher T-Shirts

"I always just check the box without reading that stuff."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

How to create a password you can remember...

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

Democracy - one of the drawbacks.

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."

Rumors of war...rumors of peace.

"Try staying in the same dimension as everyone else."

'I've got an epistle to the Corinthians, ten shekels postage due.'

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."

Buttons read - OK/Not OK/I'm OK but I still want to cancel.

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"The deal with the marionette company is nearly complete, although there are still some strings attached."

'People are divided into two classes...those in the swim and those in the soup.'

"Harold is a closet intellectual and he's never coming out."

'Another 'undecided'.'

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

"It's asking for your password."

My Obituary

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Roundabout/Don't Know How To Use Roundabout

"You've been waiting to get on all morning? Let me guess... You figured out how to set the automatic backups... But you've yet to figure out why there's an 'AM' and a 'PM' selection?"

Alchemist - name and ate unknown: 'At the Transylvania Conference, everyone was claiming to have the philosopher's stone. As chair of the select committee on turning lead into gold, I expect to have conclusive report within a decade or two.'

Hockey and Cell Phones