Cheap Date Strategist T-Shirts

'Ask for a glass from the largest bottle. You'll get more that way.'

'I sent out for everything.'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Dating the efficiency expert.

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

Workaholics Anonymous - Hourly General Meeting

Institutions Controlling Money

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

Romantic Coffee Dates

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15."

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

Being the gentleman he was, Brian insisted on paying in restaurants even though he suddenly realised that dating a bacterium was going to be more expensive than he first thought.

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

"I can't cook, but I can pay."

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"