Cheap Date Humorist Pillows

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

Budget reaction.

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

"We're not a couple. He's just my ride."

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

Sure he's a zombie, but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

He's Tasty!

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

"I'm sure my parents will love you, but for the time being, let's not mention that you're genetically modified."

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

"Can Hilary come out to abstain from having sex?"

"I brought Tom home to my parents and left him there."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

'Like I said in the ad - GSOH.'

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

"When you called yourself a playboy...."