Budget Humorist Pillows

"I actually don't know who he is .... but he's cheaper than a body camera."

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

10-59 In Progress: 'Robbery of a police officer in progress!!'

"I said, it's the cheapest plan I could find."

"We need to fix an enormous hole in the pension fund. Can I suggest a jumble sale?"

"We've found the money to run a seven day service...as long as all the days are Sundays!"

"Never mind, I'll pick a fight on my way home."

"On the upside, books from the closed libraries can be used to fuel the town hall furnace..."

Budget reaction.

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

Budget Opticians.

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"My research on the effects of total inactivity in humans is nearing a breakthrough. Just one more 5-year grant should do it."

Dollar sign balloon.

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

One of Faust's lesser-known bargains.

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

'Yes, that IS a lot of money for just a spay...

Computer that runs on money.

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

HMRC Self-Assessment - Poor