Chat Function Jester Gifts

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'Any questions?'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

"Very good Carter, but when you said you wanted to show us your Powerpoint we assumed you meant presentation!"

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Your resume is pure baloney. How'd you like to write political speeches?'

Never poke fun.