Chat Commander Gifts

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Cat in a tank...

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Second lifeReal life.

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

Woman on the phone.

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"Cool game!"

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

Holy cow! This is nothing like the hunting video game we played!

Two workers chatting by vending machine: 'Who are you working on at the moment?'

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

Dadonomics

Cat Up Tree - "He refuses to come down unless you agree to all his demands."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Telephone explosion

What is the first thing you do straight after England has just won the World Cup?

"Enough about your Xbox already!"

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

Small Talk Outlet

'In a real car, it's called a gear shift, not a joystick.'