Charming Underachiever Gifts

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

What else is there to wish for?

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

Empty Headed Schoolboy

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

Romance in Pink

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"There must be some way of getting yourself fired."

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

Succeed.

How to get ahead and how to get further ahead.

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

"I don't want your teacher to think a kid with grades this bad....could possibly have a father who could read or write."

'I got a darn D-plus, and that's WITH cheating!'

"The woman I marry will be beautiful, a great cook, intelligent, pleasant and rich."

"He makes it look so easy."

"Aaack! How did an unscheduled hour get on your calendar? This will not look good on your college application."

"Darn it, she's unreachable when she gets her inbox down to zero."

'Mismatched Mantras'

"He's been like that for hours."

Jealousy of General's Medal for Love

World Records Office.

Dyslexia (dog barking backwards).

'My backpack would be lighter if I weren't carrying all my parents hopes and dreams.'

"I'm a professor but don't worry. I'm off duty now."

'There are just two things separating me from the history books. . . opportunity and ability.'

"I predicted I would get an 'A-plus'! If it makes you feel any better, my prediction skills are way worse."