Charming Intellectual Gifts

"I'm a professor but don't worry. I'm off duty now."

Why we need poetry. . .

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

When two philosophers date. So

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Interview Dr. Witt for your esteemed journal? Of course, as soon as his play period is over.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

Shakespeare Ave

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

Romance in Pink

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

"The woman I marry will be beautiful, a great cook, intelligent, pleasant and rich."

Social butterfly

Looking Daggers

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

'And so, you can see from the books behind me that I am not an ignoramus, as some of my political opponents claim.'