Charming Intellectual Pillows

"I'm a professor but don't worry. I'm off duty now."

Why we need poetry. . .

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

Intellectual Foreplay...

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

Shakespeare Ave

Romance in Pink

"Care for an oxymoron?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

'...Would you like me to try out my Big Bang theory?'

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

Social butterfly

"The woman I marry will be beautiful, a great cook, intelligent, pleasant and rich."

Looking Daggers

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

'And so, you can see from the books behind me that I am not an ignoramus, as some of my political opponents claim.'

'Why don't you come to my birthday party? It'll be a great place for networking...'

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